Build anger management skills to help reduce
stress by David Leonhardt.
"The other
night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going."
One of the biggest obstacles to personal and career success is anger.
When we fail to control our anger, we suffer several blows:
- Anger impedes our ability to be happy, because anger
and happiness are incompatible.
- Anger sends marriages and other family relationships
off-course.
- Anger reduces our social skills, compromising other
relationships, too.
- Anger means lost business, because it destroys
relationships.
- Anger also means losing business that you could have
won in a more gracious mood.
- Anger leads to increased stress (ironic, since stress
often increases anger).
We make mistakes when we are angry, because anger makes it
harder to process information.
People
are beginning to wake up to the dangers of anger and the need for anger
management skills and strategies. Many people find anger easy to control. Yes,
they do get angry. Everybody does. But some people find anger easier to manage
than others. More people need to develop anger management skills.
Develop
your anger management skills - For those who have a tough time controlling
their anger, an anger management plan might help. Think of this as your
emotional control class, and try these self-help anger management tips:
ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP
#1 - Ask yourself this question: "Will the object of my
anger matter ten years from now?" Chances are, you will see things from a
calmer perspective.
ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP
#2 - Ask yourself: "What is the worst consequence of the
object of my anger?" If someone cut in front of you at the book store
check-out, you will probably find that three minutes is not such a big deal.
ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP
#3 - Imagine yourself doing the same thing. Come on, admit
that you sometimes cut in front of another driver, too ... sometimes by
accident. Do you get angry at yourself?
ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP
#4 - Ask yourself this question: "Did that person do
this to me on purpose?" In many cases, you will see that they were just
careless or in a rush, and really did not mean you any harm.
ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP
#5 - Try counting to ten before saying anything. This may not
address the anger directly, but it can minimize the damage you will do while
angry.
ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP
#6 - Try some "new and improved" variations of
counting to ten. For instance, try counting to ten with a deep slow breathe in
between each number. Deep breathing -- from your diaphragm -- helps people
relax.
ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP
#7 - Or try pacing your numbers as you count. The old
"one-steamboat-two-steamboat, etc." trick seems kind of lame to me.
Steamboats are not the best devices to reduce your steam. How about
"One-chocolate-ice-cream-two-chocolate-ic e-cream", or use something
else that you find either pleasant or humorous.
ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP
#8 - Visualize a relaxing experience. Close your eyes, and
travel there in your mind. Make it your stress-free oasis.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
"Holding
on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at
someone else; you are the one who gets burned." - Buddha
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